For the past few years, I have enjoyed working with a man who is now in his 70s. I consider him an effective neighbourhood leader who looks out for his peers. On behalf of his neighbours, he would request pre-loved household appliances when needed and is always happy to gather them for an outing or event. Apart from us, he is also a contact for a couple of food charities, and he would organise his peers to redistribute food rations to some 80 elderly people who regard him as their neighbourhood leader.
Recently, this man told me that his peers have been questioning his effectiveness. They see many other residents receiving food and other household items that they do not get to share.
They reckoned that it is because their leader has a poor relationship with donors and other charities that serve the neighbourhood.
As I was having a cup of tea with this man at a coffee shop near his home, it was obvious that he was deeply hurt by his neighbours’ assessment of his efforts to care. When I asked if he felt betrayed by the people he cared about, he answered by shaking his head and looking away. Moments later, he started blaming us for encouraging others to replicate what he had been doing for years even before he met us. He concluded that there are too many groups and organisations like us who do not realise that we have not been fair in our distribution of resources.
As I listened quietly, he became more forceful and started sharing stories of how competition for resources in his neighbourhood has led to quarrels and factions and even charities started having their favourite groups. I also learnt of situations where he felt ill-treated by others, and I felt anger and bitterness in his voice.
He was on a roll and seemed to have many unfriendly if not unkind things to say of others. Then,
I raised my hand and asked if I may share a Cherokee story I know about two wolves that lived within us. He paused and without my elaboration, he took it that black represented evil while white meant good. Then I told him that the two wolves were always fighting and who did he think would prevail. Without hesitation, he replied “Black! Of course.”
We both paused and he quietened when I asked what it feels like to have a black wolf living in him every day. “It is the wolf we feed that wins,” I explained and he agreed when I invited him to join me in feeding the white wolf. So together, we sat in our chairs and took deep breaths to calm ourselves and to invite a little peace into our hearts.
Before I left, we acknowledged that we were both getting on in years and living each day with peace in our hearts is probably how we may continue to live joyfully.
For peace and community.
Gerard
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
